Articles

Beware the one behind you.

FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #31 A: Chicken Teriyaki. Q: What is the name of the world's oldest kamikaze pilot?

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. -- Mark Twain

There is a fly on your nose.

Sheriff Chameleotoptor sighed with an air of weary sadness, and then turned to Doppelgutt and said 'The Senator must really have been on a bender this time -- he left a party in Cleveland, Ohio, at 11:30 last night, and they found his car this morning in the smokestack of a British aircraft carrier in the Formosa Straits.' -- Grand Panjandrum's Special Award, 1985 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

Beware of a tall blond man with one black shoe.

After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations. -- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare

Your boss is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly. -- William Shakespeare, "The Rape of Lucrece"

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail. -- Charles Dickens, "A Christmas Carol"