Articles

Q: What's buried in Grant's tomb? A: A corpse.

Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb? A: One.

You have an unusual magnetic personality. Don't walk too close to metal objects which are not fastened down.

Q: What do you call a blind, deaf-mute, quadraplegic Virginian? A: Trustworthy.

O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant. -- Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", II, 2

It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

Keep it short for pithy sake.

Today is the last day of your life so far.

You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.

All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"