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2018-05-22T17:03:48

Q: What's buried in Grant's tomb? A: A corpse.

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2018-05-13T02:34:50

Try to have as good a life as you can under the circumstances.

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2018-05-10T23:20:29

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

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2018-05-09T18:56:15

This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one. -- Arthur Clarke

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2018-05-04T19:16:14

You are fighting for survival in your own sweet and gentle way.

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2018-05-03T11:16:08

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2018-05-02T22:16:46

A light wife doth make a heavy husband. -- Wm. Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

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2018-05-02T18:02:13

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney? A: An offer you can't understand.

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2018-05-01T10:32:00

"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive." -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "A Study in Scarlet"

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2018-04-29T05:13:58

Q: What does it say on the bottom of Coke cans in North Dakota? A: Open other end.

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