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2024-12-11T05:42:45

Q: What's the difference between Bell Labs and the Boy Scouts of America? A: The Boy Scouts have adult supervision.

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2024-12-09T18:53:55

Q: Why did the WASP cross the road? A: To get to the middle.

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2024-12-09T18:53:34

They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce. -- Mark Twain

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2024-12-09T14:05:27

You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.

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2024-12-09T14:04:56

Q: How many IBM 370's does it take to execute a job? A: Four, three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.

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2024-12-09T14:02:42

Today is the last day of your life so far.

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2024-12-09T06:08:29

All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly.

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2024-12-07T02:49:02

Be careful! Is it classified?

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2024-12-06T23:42:40

In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... seven hundred and forty-two years from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long. ... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. -- Mark Twain

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2024-12-06T17:37:07

You are taking yourself far too seriously.

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