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2019-10-03T21:21:51

Q: What's buried in Grant's tomb? A: A corpse.

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2019-09-23T16:44:16

Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb? A: One.

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2019-09-18T03:06:28

You have an unusual magnetic personality. Don't walk too close to metal objects which are not fastened down.

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2019-09-14T23:05:31

Q: What do you call a blind, deaf-mute, quadraplegic Virginian? A: Trustworthy.

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2019-09-13T10:32:15

O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant. -- Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", II, 2

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2019-09-12T13:05:37

It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

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2019-09-08T00:43:03

Keep it short for pithy sake.

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2019-08-24T02:45:23

Today is the last day of your life so far.

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2019-08-22T11:07:08

You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution.

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2019-08-21T19:10:12

All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

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