create new article | atom feed

Articles

2017-02-16T11:28:05

Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb? A: Seven. Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he'll immediately claim that he's a doctor, not an electrician). Scotty, after checking around, realizes that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he "canna" see in the dark. Kirk will make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirt security officers beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promply killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand, Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must warp out of orbit. Although badly outgunned, he cripples the Klingon and races back to the planet in order to rescue Kirk et. al. who have just saved the natives' from an awful fate and, as a reward, been given all light bulbs they can carry. The new bulb is then inserted and the Enterprise continues on its five year mission.

permalink at by Someone

2017-02-16T01:56:17

You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.

permalink at by Someone

2017-02-15T12:58:39

There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend." -- Mark Twain

permalink at by Someone

2017-02-10T20:42:07

FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #4 A: Go west, young man, go west! Q: What do wabbits do when they get tiwed of wunning awound?

permalink at by Someone

2017-02-09T01:45:22

Things will be bright in P.M. A cop will shine a light in your face.

permalink at by Someone

2017-02-03T21:05:46

If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end. -- Mark Twain

permalink at by Someone

2017-02-03T20:52:01

Executive ability is prominent in your make-up.

permalink at by Someone

2017-02-03T16:46:56

It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

permalink at by Someone

2017-02-02T10:35:49

You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.

permalink at by Someone

2017-02-02T00:42:46

So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots. -- Samuel Foote

permalink at by Someone