Articles

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. -- Mark Twain

You will be held hostage by a radical group.

Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no. -- J.R.R. Tolkien

Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center. -- Winning sentence, 1990 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here.

I dote on his very absence. -- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

Q: How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying? A: When his lips move.

You had some happiness once, but your parents moved away, and you had to leave it behind.

You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.

You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.