Articles

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

You look tired.

Q: Why do the police always travel in threes? A: One to do the reading, one to do the writing, and the other keeps an eye on the two intellectuals.

Green light in A.M. for new projects. Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.

Q: What's hard going in and soft and sticky coming out? A: Chewing gum.

An avocado-tone refrigerator would look good on your resume.

You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.

You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with dirt is concerned.

O, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive. -- Sir Walter Scott, "Marmion"

As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"