Articles

Your love life will be... interesting.

Q: What's the difference between Bell Labs and the Boy Scouts of America? A: The Boy Scouts have adult supervision.

The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted sullenly and, buffing her already impeccable nails -- not for the first time since the journey begain -- pondered snidely if this would dissolve into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays spent with Basil. -- Winning sentence, 1983 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

Big book, big bore. -- Callimachus

Q: What's the difference between USL and the Titanic? A: The Titanic had a band.

It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

Just to have it is enough.

Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good. -- Samuel Johnson

You look like a million dollars. All green and wrinkled.

Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.